SSS #162: 🏔 What's Your [Current] Everest?


Livin' La Vida Luna y Luca


Sorry Luna, but my boy Looky Loo turned 6 months old this week.

Crazy. It happened in the blink of an eye.

I love you so much my little chunk 🥺

I belong to a small group of real estate investors that meet once a week to discuss what's going on in our businesses.

Oftentimes, the conversation can turn deeply personal.

Last week, the theme of the call was: What's Your Current Everest?

The question was asked in a business sense to ensure we all close out the year strong, but I took a different route.

On the heels of a one-sided argument with Dia, I had a major realization that I felt compelled to share it with the group.

Some Background

Last weekend, Dia suggested we go to Target to buy some Formula for Luca.

Upon entering, she said, "you go get us coffee, and I'll go get the formula."

In the time it took me to grab our SBX, Dia managed to fill her cart with a bunch of stuff that wasn't baby formula.

Ok, whatever. A $50 trip turned into $150.

The very next day, Dia said we need to stop by CVS on the way home to grab some cough medicine for her mom.

She went in with Luna while I stayed in the car with Luca.

She came running to the car empty-handed. "My credit card isn't working! Can I have yours?"

I gave her my CC and opened our Chase Banking app to see that she was over her (artificially low) credit limit.

I'm starting to see red.

A few moments later, Dia comes back to the car with A LOT more than just cough syrup. 🤯

Let's just say I reacted poorly to that.

In the moment, it felt cathartic to yell *at* her about our "frivolous" spending habits, but before we even got home I apologized and admitted that was an unacceptable reaction.

Fast Forward To Tuesday

I tell my therapist about this whole debacle and he asks me, "What's really going on? Last time we met you were raving about how 2022 is turning out to be your best year ever. Is your wife's spending actually out of control or is there something else?"

I had to admit - Dia's spending is not out of control.

In fact, she's actually quite fiscally responsible. I definitely spend more than her but regardless, our spending habits are not the real issue.

The real issue is my current earning potential.

Aside from my new construction project (which is way over time and over budget), I don't have a predictable source of revenue generation going into 2023.

This time last year (Q4 of 2021), we bought 4 properties and had another few in progress. Those deals are what made 2022 such a good year for my business.

But right now, my pipeline is completely dry and the current market conditions are making it extremely difficult for deals to pencil out.

That comes with a lot of anxiety. It's hard enough to imagine doing as well next year. Doing better seems downright impossible.

Insecurity and Under Communication

It took me a few days (& the help of my therapist) to realize it, but my recent insecurity about my future earning potential disguised itself as anger and Dia took the brunt of it in the CVS parking lot.

How embarrassing... for her and me.

Also, both of our kids were with us.

Ugh - Not cool.

If I had simply discovered and communicated my fear to Dia before those trips to Target & CVS, I'm sure she would have filled her cart with slightly less stuff we don't need. 😅 (hey, she's not perfect either).

Silver Lining

Despite a dry pipeline, there are a few saving graces.

1) We're savers & more importantly, investors. 2022 was a good year. There's money left over & Dia continues to earn a great income. We'll be just fine if I have a dry spell.

2) I have a small deal in Philly closing soon. It's not a home run, but it's a solid single. I'm so grateful my buddy Francis invited me to partner with him on it.

3) I'm not giving up. I'm doubling down. I'm following up more often with motivated sellers in my CRM. I'm sending more direct mail. I continue to drive for dollars and target properties that look like they're on their last legs.

4) I can pivot back to a support role. If all else fails, I can call up some old friends and go back to taking smaller slices of larger deals in a support role. That's how I spent most of my time from 2017-2020.


"Remember who you are. Remember that you survived 100% of your worst days because you're still here. And if you can accomplish all of that, you can accomplish this too."

^^^ This is how the moderator ended our call.

It's kinda cheesy and woo-woo, but it's true. And if I'm being honest, hearing that really helped me.

I felt my perspective change. Hell, my posture changed.

I stood a little taller knowing Dia and I have been through some shit. And we always came out the other side better than we went in.

So while it's scarier than ever (with 2 kids under 2.5), to be uncertain where the next big payday is coming from... I am confident we can figure it out.

Like we always have.